Lexicon

In August, cool is the best way to describe the man cave. Dark, cool, sunless. I’m hanging here, the way a cured ham ages in some Italian chateau.

The family and I have just returned from a week on Cape Cod, living high on the hog…guests at the country club and enjoying the recession proof luxuries provided by the Wianno Club. All I have to say is that real life sucks. It isn’t about being rich. It is about pleasure. In my personal lexicon, rich means irritable bowel syndrome and erectile dysfunction. It’s the price one pays for flogging oneself in getting onboard the gravy train. I know, I know. It sounds judgmental, but it's too hot for rational thought. And besides, why read well thought out arguments that have you saying to yourself, “U-huh, u-huh,” when outrage induced by flagrant abuses of poor word choice, inattentiveness to logic and leaping assumptions really get the juices flowing?

Words have power and none more so than this little sample of Samson’s latest incursions into meaning and context. Stay cool. Go underground. Get a man cave.

Cuckoo bananas=all things inexplicable

Trees=broccoli

White Trees=cauliflower

Annoyful=me, or any one of his friends he currently finds as annoyful as me.

Hairy Penis=Hope’s hoo ha

Poofer=Samson’s preferred swear word

Bajshead=a compound word, from Swedish and English. It’s meaning? Shit-for-brains.

Mealy Bugs=his sister

Play-Doh= Either a toy, or Greek philosopher. Comes in electric pink.

Absolutely tired from dead=deader than dead

Awesome=a lazy word. Samson told this to the daughter of the headmaster of the school he is about to attend. Clever boy.

Evil Fuzzy Face. Samson’s made up character. I think it’s a synonym for annoyful. I can’t be sure.